After winning a handful of cash Saturday morning I went record shopping with O. I finally found a copy of Altar for a reasonable price and got my hands on the Tortoise / The Ex split EP from way back. Later that night, I was appointed the task of ripping a not so good EP. Here it goes. A nice break from all the stupid religious ramblings comes in the form of some stupid hip-hop infused party metal from Germany. You'll thrill to the surprisingly unpopular 'Bitch Make Sandwich' and scratch your head in puzzlement as you attempt to derive some meaning from 'Selassie I Is A Weirdo'. The source is a 12 inch EP with three songs on each side. Since the first track on each side is only 15 or 20 seconds long I went ahead and combined them with the second track. Yea, it was kind of lazy of me but really it's all this record deserves.

track 1- Intro / Bitch Make Sandwich


track 2 - Jack


track 3 - ? / Selassie I Is A Weirdow


track 4 - Brainstorm & Dub


freaky Fukin Weirdoz - Extra Play (Full Album 36Mb ZIP) - Download

Really, making fun of this one is almost too easy. I used to spend way too much time drinking in a coffee shop/bar kind of place in my home town that featured some of the most schizophrenic open mic nights the world has ever known. In the few years the place was open, there was one man that never missed an open mic night. That man was Cleveland Tennessee's own David Kristpalatine. Not pronounced David but DaVEED. Once a week for two years straight this guy would spend his allotted 15 minutes of open mic time playing the same five songs in the same order to the same unreceptive crowd while wearing the same striped shirt. Several times I saw the cooks at the place turn the entire building's power off in an attempt to block his rock. I saw him pelted with silverware and the occasional chunk of vegetarian burrito. Not even the merciless heckle of a drunken crusty punk rocker screaming "you suck" inches from his face could loosen his resolve to deliver the unwanted goods. Much to the dismay of everyone around, the guy was unstoppable.

One look at that shirt and you know; this is a man who will not be stopped.

Moscow Idaho is a small place. You can walk from one end of town to the other and back again in about 30 minutes. I lived there through the winter on 2000-2001 while attending the university of Idaho. It was the height of my time as an insomniac; not really the best thing for a guy in school but it had its benefits too. Chief among those benefits was unfettered access to the laundromat in the early morning hours. Here goes a video of a guy riding a bike in the aforementioned laundromat. Usually the trips to the laundromat were uneventful with the most exciting thing being the rare sighting of a fellow insomniac in need of clean shirts. On one fateful night in the laundromat, I had my whole perspective on insanity changed.

Set the wayback machine for 1987. I had just turned 12 years old and was in dire need of something awesome in my life. That something awesome came in the form of punk rock. My hometown had some really great bands, a lot of shitty ones too, but almost all very intense and fun. I had a few favorites like Feast of Pigs, Children of the Root, Bend Sinister, and Boondoggle but the one that got me started was The Kreed.

In the process of moving I've uncovered a whole bunch of really awesome stuff, a bunch of shitty stuff too but that's not important. I thought I lost this CD a long time ago. It's the long lost Whoremonger disc. My old band used to play with these guys all the time. It was nothing less than a complete riot. You'd think it would be impossible for one person to coax a single note of music from an instrument while under the effects of LSD and crack, much less a whole band playing technical metal but If you ever saw these guys then you saw some serious acts of drug fueled metal super heroism.

The Drummer, Eric, is still one of my most favorite drummers. Partially due to his technical prowess but mostly due to the fact that he kicked it all out on a kit comprised entirely of stuff that pawn shop operators wouldn't give him any money for. The fact that he and Lindy got along so well was nice too. So here goes each track from the album. I'm partial to buckets of blood, but they are all really good. If you've ever been to Ringgold Georgia, you can understand exactly what these guys are all about.


track #1: Fake Led Life


track #2: Buckets of Blood


track #3: Instrumental


track #4: Darkness Rising


track #5: Too Dark to See


Whoremonger - Untitled (Full Album 24Mb ZIP) - Download

I've wanted it for years and now I've got it. #727 of 1000. The Single for Answer Me. The B-side is Honolulu Baby.

If you are old as fuck you might remember Answer Me as being a big hit for Nat King Cole in the spring of 1954 as Answer Me, My Love. A few other folks around that time had some success with their versions of it as well. It started off in 1953 as a religious song (in German no less!) called Answer Me, Dear Lord. That explains the vaguely religious imagery. It's usually done as a sappy tear-jerker but once the black priest gets his hands on it, it turns kind of dark, a little creepy, and kind of fun. You can tell he really likes the song, but maybe for different reasons than Mr. Cole. I didn't have time to make a digital copy of the record, so here goes an MP3 I ripped from the Satan Takes a Holiday CD. I'm almost certain it is the same version. If not I'll post both later so we can all compare notes.

Anton Lavey - Answer Me


Then You've got the B-Side; Honolulu Baby. If you are even older than all fuck, like biblically old, you might remember this one from the Laurel and Hardy movie Sons of The Desert. It was composed for the film by T. Marvin Hatley and performed by Ty Parvis backed by a chorus line of hula dancers. It came at a time when imitation Hawaiian songs were pretty popular. I first heard this song a few months after this single was released. I was so high I couldn't move, in the middle of the day, in the dark and hot bedroom of a guy named Mike from Waco Texas. He loved to get way too high and listen to stoner/doom metal really loud. Occasionally I would join him. So there I was, high as shit, doing my best to cope with drug-induced paralysis compounded by the debilitating effects of listening to Holy Mountain in its entirety, when Mike put Honolulu Baby on the turntable at 33 RPM. It was pretty heavy. Sadly the awesomeness of the recording at 33rpm was drug-dependent. Hearing it sober at 33 is a let-down. I heard it a few more times after that, at the correct speed, and grew to love it. It's probably the weird and washy old-school organ sounds and accompanying rhythm track that I find so appealing. Anyway, here it goes from the CD as well. No downloads for these since the CD is still in print.

Anton LaVey - Honolulu Baby

Enjoy these tunes. If you really like them go out and get the Satan Takes a Holiday CD. It's equally awesome.

In 2001 I got an early morning phone call from a guy in Oklahoma named Reid. He had seen my old band's website and wanted very badly to hook up a couple shows. Over the next few years we had the pleasure of hosting several of his bands and many other brutal metal and hardcore acts from Oklahoma. Here goes a CD-r rip of one of his bands; Deluge. I never got a sleeve or tracklist for it and had to do some serious digging to even come up with a couple of song names. As a result a couple of the tunes are untitled. Get ready for some blast beats.

For a taste, enjoy track #6: Great Wall

Deluge - Untitled (Full Album 28Mb ZIP) - Download

You could fall in love with this album. It's by a little band from Asheville NC called Resurrectum. My old band used to play quite a few shows with them. Dual metal guitars, incredible drumming, and the ever dreamy Louise on vocals. This probably isn't the best recording you'll ever hear but it gets the point across. It's kind of a grindy thrash thing with a little helping of blast. A few of the guys in the band have gone on to become semi famous in the post hardcore jazz outfit Ahleuchatistas. Good stuff there too, but since it's pretty easy to get your hands on I'll leave the acquisition phase of their music up to you. So go ahead and enjoy some of the finest 'metal made by punks' you're likely to hear in the next few weeks.

Here goes the first track off the album: It Happens

Resurrectum - Resurrectum (Full Album 46Mb ZIP) - Download

In the summer of 1999 I was riding in the passenger seat of my friend Eddie's truck listening to Doggystyle really loud when we stopped at a sketchy gas station to get some snacks. Once inside we were approached by a guy who said "was that ya'll out there boomin' that hip hop?" I assured him that it was indeed we who had been booming the hip hop. He told me to meet him in the parking lot when we were done as he had a CD for us. Little did I know I was talking to the soon to be only slightly less unknown hip hop artist Admiral Daye. We met him outside and he gave us the cd-r complete with poorly photocopied label. It contained the song 'Get it Crunk'. We thanked him for it and drove away. I now present to you an mp3 rip of the two songs from that CD.

Listen now, or read on for lyrics and humorous anecdotes.

Admiral Daye - Get it Crunk - Download

Hold on tight. This story starts off confusing and doesn't ever let up. In may of 2000 I was doing my best to repay an extended debt to society. While I was working my ass off to pay a bunch of fines and associated bills for a few of my more colorful and impressive brushes with the law, I managed to find time to make my way to the Brandy House in Atlanta to record a performance by Shaking Ray Levi Society members Dennis Palmer, Kenny Palmer, and Bob Stagner. If experimental music without the pompousness appeals to you, then go ahead and get your hands on this recording.